A Creation Myth
In the beginning, there was the void, and the void was cold, black and infinite. It had no starting point and no centre. It merely was — as much a state of mind as a physical place, because, of course, there was no physical place to be. It was the void. This went on forever because time did not exist.
A smallish door appeared in one part of the void. It opened just a crack.
Something was definitely going on behind that door. If sound had been able to make it through the vacuum of void space it would have suggested a party was happening inside that door, the kind that beer companies like to put on, with lots of sweat and cleavage, and beer.
God stopped by at the party and he was desperate for a smoke. Finally, he could take no more without a Player’s Light. He’d been bored by the beer people for hours and had even thought briefly about cooking up a sudden case of gaseous, bowel wrecking food poisoning.
God despised the anti-smoking crusaders inside. They wore safety vests and liked to participate in civic holidays. Face painters. They were big on free pancake breakfasts with pretend maple syrup. They had sensible shoes and stinky feet.
He took a quick look round and nipped out the open door to the void with smoke in hand and a book of matches from Safeway. “Gawd,” He thought, petitioning himself, “I have to do something. This is really going nowhere.”
The party door nudged open and Lucifer squeezed out. It had been a bit tense lately but God and Lucifer were still on speaking terms. That prick, Milton, had not shown up yet with all his “Hurld headlong flaming fromth’ Eternal Skie to bottomless perdition” nonsense.
“Got a light?” asked Lucifer as he pulled out a vape.
“Those things will kill you,” offered God (although, he thought, perhaps not where you’re going). “Mine have better filters.” God brought out his cheap book of matches. Time for something entirely new, he thought as he scraped the flinty surface.
And eventually, it sparked.
The Big Bang flashed outward. In a mighty soundless roar, the heavens and the earth were born.
God looked out upon what He had wrought. “Let’s go back in,” he said to Lucifer, tossing his butt and popping the top on a Strongbow. “Nothing much left to do out here.”
God and Lucifer went inside and pulled the door shut.
Sometime later, Lucifer popped open the door again…just to take another look around.